Part 2: 10 Things I'm Normalizing (for the sake of myself and my daughters)
Modernizing manhood and fatherhood, one thing at a time
If you’ve been craving a little more quiet, a little more stillness, or simply a reminder that you don’t have to keep pace with everyone around you, I have a Tidy Tidbits episode for you.
In Episode #64, I’m sharing audio recordings I captured while walking the Camino de Santiago in Northern Spain, along with personal reflections from the journey. It’s a different kind of episode. Slower. Simpler. Maybe exactly what you need today.
Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Substack.
This time of year marks the one-year anniversary of my first “10 Things I’m Normalizing (for the sake of myself and my daughters)” essay going viral. One simple mention of a Speedo, a swimsuit I occasionally wear to the beach for open-water swims and during triathlon competitions, sent my writing and story around the globe.
It's become an annual practice for me to reflect on the things I'm normalizing for the sake of myself and my daughters. Masculinity is nuanced. Fatherhood is nuanced. Being human is nuanced. So why do so many of the rules about how we're supposed to live, parent, work, and show up in the world still feel so fixed?
So in the spirit of reflection, growth, and a little curiosity, here’s my 2026 list.
Will any of these spark the same viral reaction as last year’s swimsuit?
Only time will tell.
1. Always Having a Book Going
My TBR pile is thriving. I’ve realized that when I always have a book going, my daughters usually do too. We talk about books more. My wife and I recommend titles to one another. Reading becomes part of the rhythm of our home.
Lately I’ve been reading primarily books by female authors, and it’s fascinating. My taste is pretty eclectic. One minute I’m reading about tradwives, the next I’m deep into a murder mystery, and then I’m listening to research about the dad brain. I love how books allow me to step into experiences and viewpoints that aren’t my own.
You can check out the books I’ve read so far this year HERE!
2. Experimenting with Fashion
Last year I lost more than 30 pounds and began to rethink what I wanted my wardrobe to look like. Around the same time, I worked with a stylist and had my color palette analyzed. I found out I’m a “bright winter”. It’s impacted what I choose to purchase.
Someone recently asked on Instagram if I’d abandoned the capsule wardrobe. Not at all. What I’ve learned is that a capsule wardrobe doesn’t mean you’re stuck with the same pieces forever. Sometimes it’s simply time to upgrade.
A few weeks ago I got to participate in a “dad style makeover”. The biggest lesson wasn’t that I needed an entirely new wardrobe. It was that small changes can make a big difference. You don’t have to turn the dial from 0 to 180 degrees overnight. Sometimes it’s enough to move it from 45 degrees to 60 degrees and see how it feels.
I’ve been adding some of my clothing pieces to a ShopMy store. Check it out!
3. Experimenting with My Hair
I’ve been growing my hair longer.
Someone recently sent me a DM that said, “Please can you cut your hair or style it. It looks messy quite a lot now.” That message made me laugh because it’s wild how much other people care about my hair!
For forty years I never knew my hair had this much wave or curl in it. Women are encouraged to experiment with their appearance all the time. New colors. New cuts. New styles. Somewhere along the way, many men stop giving themselves permission to try something new.
I’ve been learning about washing, conditioning, styling, and what my hair naturally wants to do. I don’t know how long I will keep the longer length, but for now, I’m enjoying the process of trying something new and seeing where it leads.
Here are some of the hair products I’m currently loving!
4. Embracing Arts and Crafts
This spring we introduced quiet hour in our house. I learned about the concept from Tired Dad, and while my daughters worked on crafts, friendship bracelets, yarn projects, and coloring, I started wondering what it would look like to make something too. That’s how I ended up bedazzling books.
There’s something incredibly calming about it. The repetition. The focus. The way time seems to disappear. I love taking a book I’ve enjoyed and transforming the cover into something unique.
I’ve become invested enough that I recently bought a second kit because I discovered some book covers require different shapes and sizes of gems. I didn’t see that hobby coming, but that’s part of the fun.
If you want to give bedazzling a go, here’s my favorite kit! It has 3 sizes in each color.
5. Trying New Foods More Than Once
For years I convinced myself I didn’t like certain foods. Shrimp. Tuna. Various types of fish. Notice a theme? I’ve always had a complicated relationship with seafood.
The problem is that I often decided I didn’t like them after trying them only once.
As I’ve focused on eating more protein and adding variety to my meals, I’ve started revisiting foods I previously thought I disliked. Some have remained a no. Others have become staples. Tuna might be the biggest surprise.
I want my daughters to see that not liking something the first time doesn’t mean you never try it again. Tastes change. We change. Sometimes growth looks as simple as taking another bite.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE this cookbook.
6. Having Meaningful Friendships
This one is still a work in progress. I have wonderful friends. Some in Pennsylvania. Some through triathlon. Some here in New York. Some that exist in fun text chains.
But maintaining friendships as an adult with three kids is difficult. Schedules collide. Life gets busy. Months pass quickly.
I’m including this one on the list because I want to hold myself accountable. Meaningful friendships don’t just happen. They require intention. I want to keep making space for the people who matter to me. I want my daughters to see that friendships are important.
7. Spending Time with My Parents as an Adult
Earlier this year I flew home to Kentucky by myself after my grandmother passed away. It was my first trip home alone in years. In February we went on a cruise in the Caribbean and brought my mom along. In April I walked the Camino in Spain with my dad and sister and it was one of the most meaningful experiences of my life.
I don’t subscribe to the “18 summers” mindset. Of course childhood is precious, but if I’m lucky, I’ll know my daughters far longer as adults than I will as children. I want them to see that relationships continue to matter across generations. I want them to see me making time for my parents, just as I hope they’ll someday make time for me.
8. Being More Than My Job
Last week I appeared on CBS Mornings to talk about the dad brain and how fatherhood changed my relationship with work.
None of us can have it all at the same time. Not moms. Not dads.
Work matters. I love teaching. I love writing. I love creating. I love Tidy Dad.
But my job isn’t my identity.
Even now, I still catch myself tying my worth to productivity. The reminder I keep coming back to is simple: I am more than what I produce.
You can watch my CBS Mornings segment HERE!
9. Knowing When to Ask for Help
I’ve worked with my virtual person trainer Martin for almost a year and a half.
Recently I messaged him with questions about everything from training adjustments to bloating to the strange mental shift that comes with turning forty.
His response was simple: “That’s what I’m here for.”
He’s right.
We all need people we can ask for help. Coaches. Therapists. Friends. Mentors. Family members.
Asking for help isn’t weakness. It’s one of the most practical skills we can learn.
I followed Martin online for years before I finally scheduled a free consultation with him, and I’m so glad I did. Our work together has changed my health and my life.
You can book a FREE call with Martin here!
10. Admitting When I Need Rest
Six weeks ago I ran a marathon.
After the marathon I developed a painful case of runner’s knee. My recovery has required patience, humility, and a willingness to start over.
I started by running intervals of thirty seconds, followed by walking intervals of thirty seconds, until I could repeat that five times. Today I’m proudly running intervals of three and a half minutes, followed by two minutes of walking. It’s been a slow process.
But the process has also reminded me that rest isn’t the absence of progress. Sometimes rest is the thing that makes progress possible.
I’m learning to listen to my body, and accept that growth isn’t always measured by how hard we push. Sometimes it’s measured by how wisely we recover.
There you have it, this year’s list of “10 Things I’m Normalizing (for the sake of myself and my daughters).” If you’re interested in reading last year’s list, you can read it here.
As with last year’s list, I know this will be a growing list. Because if I normalize these things now, maybe my daughters won’t have to spend years unlearning shame, undoing double standards, or shrinking to fit into someone else’s idea of who they should be. And maybe I’ll learn a thing or two about myself in the process.
Have you thought about the things that you’re normalizing for the sake of yourself (and maybe others that you care about?) I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Oh wow! I love this - your words, the way you are navigating life, etc . . . You did such a fine job with your CBS interview. I think it’s great you are figuring out who you were created to be and not concerned about others’ perceptions of how men and women should live. I too, at age 68, am just beginning to discover who God created me to be. He loves me as I am - warts and all, and in His love, He is guiding me in living abundantly and in freedom. Continue living this amazing life that God has given you whether it’s in New York, your old Kentucky home, or wherever you live. Your worth isn’t in what you do, own, or where you live, it’s in how you love and are loved. And that, you’re doing quite well.
You know I'm particularly a fan of the one about always having a book going! Yes yes yes!